Acting Like It’s Home

[Introduction:This morning I had a really interesting conversation about the upcoming local elections. It unexpectedly sent me down memory lane—into all sorts of reflections about belonging, feeling at home, and how that has unfolded for me over the years, and it felt worth sharing here in a blogpost.]

Feeling at Home

In the first years, after I moved to the Netherlands, there was a long period when I felt like I was living "on the trenches of life". I was living in society, but not really with society.

You know the feeling. You go to work, do your groceries, navigate life efficiently, politely, almost invisibly.

You participate, but from the trenches.

Present, yet not quite belonging.

For a long time, I thought the feeling of home would arrive first. And that once it arrived, I would naturally start doing the things people do when they feel at home.

But what if it works the other way around?

That question has shaped a lot of my life here.

The chicken, the egg, and procrastination

A friend of mine has a T-shirt that says:

“Procrastinators unite!”… and in much smaller letters underneath: “tomorrow.”

It makes me laugh every single time. Because it’s painfully accurate.

Waiting until we feel like doing something is one of the main reasons we postpone so much in life. Work. The gym. Hard conversations. New beginnings.

Many motivational thinkers say the same thing: action comes first, feelings follow.

You don’t go to the gym because you feel motivated.

You go to the gym, and then motivation slowly appears.

And over time, I started to realise: maybe this is also true for feeling at home.

A quiet mindset shift

At some point, after a long stretch of frustration, something clicked.

I realised I could find a thousand reasons not to feel at home here:

• the weather

• the food

• Dutch directness

• bureaucracy

• cultural misunderstandings

And honestly, if I moved somewhere else, I’d probably find another thousand reasons there too. Different ones, but still a thousand.

So the question became:If the reasons will always be there, what is actually in my control?

For me, the shift was this:

If I want to feel at home, maybe I need to start acting like I’m at home.

Not waiting for the feeling. Trying the action first.

The first time I voted

I still remember the first time I voted in local elections.

I walked to the gym hall of a primary school in my neighbourhood. At the time, it was just a school. Nothing special.

Years later, that same school would become my daughter’s school. That same gym hall would host her end-of-year theatre performance. And I would return there again and again, each voting time.

But that first time, standing in line, I was simply observing: How things were organised. How people interacted. What felt familiar, what felt different from my birth country.

And then, behind the curtain, filling in that ballot, I felt something I hadn’t expected.

A quiet sense of belonging. And maybe even a bit of pride.

Not pride about politics. But pride about a choice I had made for myself: to participate.

It felt like proof that my experiment was working.

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[A small pre-disclaimer: I respect all choices. I don’t have opinions on how others “should” live their lives (though I have plenty about how I want to live mine). ]

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Just my experience.

What I do want to share is how I personally started creating the feeling of home I was craving in a new country.

For me, voting became one of those small, symbolic actions that said:

I’m not just passing through life here. I’m part of it.

I have opinions... About how public space is used, how local facilities are arranged, how internationals are included and more.

In short, about what a good life in a good neighbourhood looks like for me.

And if I have a chance to influence the direction of things for the better, even a little, I choose to take that chance.

Also, I genuinely enjoy having the right to vote.

Even though, in the big picture, one vote can feel insignificant. The drop makes the ocean.

So… what are the upcoming local elections about?

The next municipal council elections (gemeenteraadsverkiezingen) will take place on: 📅 Wednesday, 18 March 2026

These elections are about choosing the members of the municipal council (gemeenteraad) of The Hague.

The municipal council makes decisions about very concrete, everyday topics, such as:

• housing and neighbourhood development

• public space, parks, and streets

• local facilities and community initiatives

• waste, transport, safety, and local taxes

In short: the kind of things that shape daily life where you live.

Who can vote?

One thing many people don’t know is that you don’t need Dutch nationality to vote in municipal elections.

You can vote if:

• you are 18 or older on election day

• you are registered as living in The Hague

• and you are either:

  • a Dutch citizen, or

  • an EU citizen, or

  • a non-EU citizen who has legally lived in the Netherlands for at least 5 consecutive years

This means many internationals can vote locally, even if they cannot vote in national elections.

If you are eligible, you’ll receive a voting pass (stempas) by post before election day, which you take with you to a polling station in your neighbourhood.

More information in English here: https://english.kiesraad.nl/elections/elections-of-the-municipal-council

Acting like it’s home

For me, voting was one of those actions.

Not the only one. But an "emotionally" important one.

This year, I’ll go and vote again, not because I have all the answers, but because I decided that this is my home. 🫶

If you’re anything like me, craving that sense of "this is my place", I’ll gently offer this reflection:

What would you do if you already felt at home living here?

How would you act?

What would you take responsibility for?

Where would you show up?

And are you ready to take one of those actions? 😊

Your turn

I’m curious about your perspective.

• How do you see the relationship between “feeling like it” and “doing it” in your own life?

• Do you usually wait for the feeling to arrive first, or have you noticed moments where action came before the feeling?

• What are you currently investing in—small or big—that helps you feel a bit more at home in your everyday life?

If you feel like sharing, please comment below:

Are there things you’ve tried that helped you feel more rooted, more connected, more here—that might be valuable for others to hear about too? Warm Regards, Zeyda